MIRRORING

i'm
fading down, fading out
how can i tell if i'm around?

out of sight, in my mind
but your eyes are still the same

blue

you knew
or are you feigning that, too?

half here half of the time
and i wish i knew why
i had to keep alive

(in my mind's eye)

drifting,

draining,

all for your sake
but time, it doesn't really wait

i just wanna look and see

(a life not jaded)

holding onto what could

be
me

fading down, fading out
how can i tell if i'm around?

out of sight, in my mind
but your eyes are still the same

blue

you knew
or are you feigning that, too?

like you do?

i'm waiting for this to play out
at least till i can feel the ground

clouded eyes can't describe
all the things my thoughts have left behind

so why
do i still talk like i'm wise?

as time is passing me by

(time is passing me by)

in a daze i can't defy

(in a daze i can't defy)

shake the pain, tried to try

oh well, hello and goodbye

such a lovely lovely breeze

(too slight of skin)

such a dizzying disease,
please

take this fight,
i don't have drive
to make my body look alive

too hollow, too displaced
could you tell by looking at my face?

what waste
to think that i could evade

this fate

i'm aching now, fizzling out
just when i started to feel doubt

first i ran, then i stalled
maybe i'm just that numb after all

don't call
i won't hear you through the wall

down in the trenches,
sleep comes with no expenses
when you've lost all your senses,
it's hard to be amended

how do you do it?
i'm not built to resist it
if i can't break this stiffness
i'll never know

sweet ludicity, i wish i had your agency
a strange kind of imagery
spacing out my memory
but i hope
through my heart you'll see
somebody worth a little sympathy

i'm
fading down, fading out
how can i tell if i'm around?

out of sight, in my mind
but your eyes are still the same

blue

you knew
or are you feigning that, too?

i could never tell with you

still waiting for me to give out
but maybe i don't have to now

despite all my doubt
i don't need a new philosophy

i'll be
just fine if you're here with me